Defining Moment
I will share another true “Kristi Smith story” that was a defining moment in my life. As I sat at a wedding reception last fall, the DJ announced, “I need all the single ladies out on the dance floor. In a few minutes, the bride will be throwing the bouquet. We ask all you single ladies to make your way out onto the dance floor at this time.” This was an announcement I had heard multiple times throughout my life; there was nothing unusual there. What made this time stand out for me was that, after almost 25 years of marriage, this time the DJ was talking to me.
It was surreal. The music started playing. You might know the song…“All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies…” You can’t hear me singing right now and that is probably a good thing, because I am sure I am butchering the song, but all of the sudden I realized this song was calling me out onto the dance floor. I was now a “single lady.” Exactly one year prior to this young bride’s wedding day, I had “celebrated” my husband’s birthday for the first time without him. Now on this second birthday after his death, I found myself for the first time at a wedding as a widow. Widow is just another word for “suddenly single.” Sitting there at the reception with the music pounding in my ears and my heart pounding even louder, I realized I had a choice to make. Would I stay seated and ignore the call? Or would I answer the call and join the other single ladies on the dance floor? It was a defining moment.
Answer the Call
Next thing I knew, my feet were walking toward the sound of the music and all these 20-something women soon surround me. Here I was a “seasoned woman” in her…let’s just say mid to late 40’s…all right…late 40’s…okay, fine…I was 49! And I stood in the middle of a swarm of girls with my two daughters on either side of me. We were completely encircled by all their young friends who were all laughing and vying for positions behind the bride. Some of the girls noticed me and out of their love for me helped move me to center point behind the quarterback. This only seemed to make an awkward situation for me somehow more uncomfortable.
The bride hiked the ball—I mean the bouquet—and I saw this mass of multihued flowers coming straight for my face. Instinct kicked in and all of the sudden I was wrestling some girl for the prized bouquet. Maybe it was because I am a “seasoned woman” or maybe because she saw the look of terror in my eyes, but my daughter released her grip on the flowers and let her mama have that moment of glory (not really sure what all happened, it happened so fast!). I then proceeded to do some kind of embarrassing dance like a running back in the end zone followed by a quick victory lap around the dance floor with my head held high and the fragrant spoils of this single-lady contest lifted higher in the air for all to see. The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat.
That evening, memories were made. My daughters and I laughed and danced for hours and it was a pivotal night for all of us. Looking back, I realize that it was at that wedding that I started to allow God to turn my sorrow into dancing…literally. Life is filled with twists and turns and hills and valleys. All along the path we are given opportunities to sit idly by or to get out onto the dance floor. We can either ignore the call or dance the night away. And like the country song says, “I hope you dance.” This is your official invitation to Move On. Dare to dance. This might be your defining moment.
