Be strong? I will be honest with you…right now I can’t be strong enough for someone else. It is too much pressure. I need to let God be strong enough for me; collapse into His strength, let go into His faithful arms. I can’t be strong for anyone else. They need to know and I need to be reminded that none of us are strong enough…we never have been and we never will be. It is only by God’s Spirit in us that we are able to stand at all some days.
So don’t feel pressure, because you are already feeling pressure enough with everything going on. You don’t need more pressure. You can’t take more pressure. You are human. You were not meant to hold it together. You were meant to fall apart… knowing that God will not let you be overcome. You will not get lost in this. You will hurt and struggle, and believe me, my heart hurts for you, but the last thing I want you to feel from me or anyone else is that YOU are who or what is holding this all together. Rest child. Breathe. You are being held. You are loved.

Dear one, you are beautiful and wonderful, but you can’t be what holds things together. That is not fair. Don’t put that pressure on yourself. Lean on the One who laid down His life for you. Fall back into His arms and He will raise you up just like He Himself rose from the dead. You are in good hands. The hands that took the nails for you are holding you now.

I don’t mean to sound like I am preaching at you. I am really just praying for you. I could not stand to see you take on one more thing with all that you have been through. We are all praying for you. All of Heaven is behind you. God WILL get you through this.

To be honest, I have been more aware of my brokenness, my flaws, and my desperate never-ending need of saving than I have been in a long time. The weight of MY inabilities, insecurities, and self-imposed ‘pressure to perform’ are starting to really get me down. I have been feeling defeated and discouraged. Change is hard, but I am far enough into this journey that I feel like I should have it together more than I do. I have cried several times this week (and I am not a crier). I have felt so alone and overwhelmed; So weak and unable. I am not saying this for you all to feel sorry for me or to propel you to send me a bunch of “you can do this, you are strong” posts. I am just being honest.

Today, some light is breaking through or I am starting to see something in these clouds…
This awareness of my ugliness is somehow making Jesus more beautiful. His gentleness toward me is all the sweeter when compared to how demanding I have being toward Him. I am demanding, grouchy, completely ungrateful for what He has done for me (because He is not doing enough), pouty that He is taking so long, and miss bratty-mouth directly questioning His ability to do all the tricks I want Him to perform. I rant and rave and spit and spew and He just sits there right beside me and quietly listens. I throw all my anger and disappointment IN HIM up in HIS face and He just looks at me with clear, kind eyes. I proclaim how HE is not doing enough for ME and yet He refuses to make me feel deficient, delinquent, or behind.

Jesus accepts me right where I am and loves me in spite of myself. It’s His grace that makes me realize how out of line I am, and yet it is also what makes me melt into His goodness. My wild meanness makes me more thankful for His loving-kindness. He doesn’t “put me in my place” like He has every right to do. He “puts Himself in my place” and feels for me and cries with me. Jesus reminds me that He is with me, He will never leave me, and I am not as alone as I had thought.

I guess ME being honest with how I was feeling about HIM allowed me to hear HIM being honest with how He feels about ME. I was harsh and cold but He was not the least bit defensive or “after all the things I have done for you, this is how you treat me Little Missy.” Not a hint of “you better watch your attitude Lady.” Nothing but pure compassion. I was demanding and He was disarming. He was beauty and I the beast.

I had nothing left to give. I was exhausted. Depleted. I could not go on any more. So I laid down on my bed and asked Jesus to wrap His arms around me. I was in a bad way. I was at the end of my rope.
I had been trying to stand on my own. Trying to prove that I was a big girl…that I could handle things…that I didn’t need God as much any more. I hated being so dependent on Him, and was sure He could not wait for the day I could stand on my own two feet again.
But, today, I could not pretend any more.
I was in desperate need of saving. I was in over my head. Up to my eyeballs. And the water was rushing in faster than I could keep up.
I laid there like a broken rag doll in Jesus’ arms and professed my pride and weariness…my sin and idolatry. I wept. I leaned my whole weight on Him. I told Him I did not deserve His grace. I had not done enough to merit His favor. I was a sinner in need of a Savior.
I was unable, incapable of getting out of this situation on my own. I was completely dependent on Him and terribly sorry for the mess I had made. I had been greedy. I had been foolish. I had hidden my fear, but it had consumed me anyway.
I asked the Lord for mercy. As He held me, I laid my debts at the foot of the Cross and told Him how sorry I was that He had to die for me. I pictured Jesus on the cross.
For the first time in my life, I realized His body on the cross was empty. His Spirit had left His body a long time ago. As I looked on His torn body, I felt His presence come up beside me. He stood to my right in a radiant white robe. His face beamed with love. His eyes full of life.
He knelt down beside me and told me that my sin was not too much for Him. He knew it was too heavy for me. That was why He died – so I could lay it all down. I was not supposed to carry it. It was too much for me. The heaviness took my joy and my energy and filled me with fear, regret and shame. He wondered if I would continue to carry it or lay it down.
I had felt guilty but did not want to lay my sins at the cross. That felt dishonoring to all Jesus had done for me. I wanted instead to lay my crowns at the foot of the Cross and give Him glory. But I had no crowns. I felt guilty bringing my brokenness and shame. He deserved better. More.
He reminded me He was not on the Cross any longer. He was risen. He was very much alive.
My sins don’t kill Him now… He already died for my sins.
My sins don’t defeat Him… He already defeated the grave.
I don’t have to feel guilty.
I was to leave my sins there.
He already carried the burden.
That is why He said… “It is finished,” and breathed His last breath.
I did not have to needlessly carry the full weight of my sin.
“Lay it down,” He whispered.
“Lay it all down. Leave it there. I’m not on the cross any longer so it doesn’t hurt me to take your sins there. What hurts me is when I see you trying to carry them. Trust me. They are ALL paid for. Every single thought, decision, action, regret… ALL paid in full.
You don’t owe Me anything. I did it because I love you. Love keeps no record of wrongs. In fact, I was just interceding to the Father for You. I was hoping to see you here today. I was wondering when you would reach your breaking point. There is no breakthrough without brokenness.
Admitting you need forgiveness is what brings forgiveness.
Asking for help is what brings the help. Seeking my mercy is what brings you here to the Cross, and what brings me here to you.
You have been a stubborn one. Trying to carry it on your own but completely unable. You have pushed it as far as you could and now let’s leave it here. You need rest. You need refreshment. You need nourishment.”
I looked up into His eyes and He took me by the hand and lifted me up. There was no anger in His eyes, no resentment, no disappointment. He smiled and I could see that He was genuinely relieved I was not trying to pick my sin up, but instead trusting Him enough to leave them there.
My heart felt lighter. I had not realized how heavy the burden was until I laid it down. I felt like I could float…20 pounds lighter. I could breathe easier. My insides actually felt more spacious. My mind was not crammed with doubt, fear, anxiety, and remorse.
I instantly wished I had come sooner, but I was afraid. Afraid that He would be disappointed in me, afraid that He would humiliate me in front of others, afraid that He would crucify me. No. No more condemnation. No more guilt. No more shame. Only love.
He gently pulled my arm, and I knew it was time to leave. No need to stay at the cross. As I walked hand in hand into the future Jesus had for me, I knew I would never forget this day… the day that Jesus met me at the cross.

In light of the recent tragic events in our world, parents have reached out to me for advice on how to help their children process the pain they are seeing in the world. PARENTS is an acronym with 7 simple reminders to equip parents to empower your children.

P – Process your pain first. It’s important for parents to address your feelings as they come, so you can help your children to manage theirs. The goal is to be prepared and not scared.

A – Ask them questions. Follow their level of curiosity. Keep in mind their level of understanding. Adjust your answers according to their age, personality and experiences.

R – Respond with compassion towards their fears, anxiety and confusion. Do not shame them or downplay their perspective. Even as children, it’s important that their feelings be respected.

E – Embrace them! Hugs! For younger children, do plenty of snuggle time. For teens, just hang out together. Give them direct eye contact. Physically reassure them of your presence.

N – Notice changes in behavior or outlook. They may be more withdrawn or act out in anger. If you need to, get help from a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor.

T – Tell the truth. Don’t hide things from kids or lie to them. They can usually sense something is wrong and ignoring it does not lower their stress level. It makes them more uneasy.

S -Say a prayer for the situation, families, and all those affected. Our country needs our prayers.